The holidays are often difficult for a lot of people, especially divorcees. We no longer have what we thought would be our forever journey of celebrating every element of life with someone Sometimes we no longer even have the friends that we once had because the divorce ravaged more than just our personal relationship. It ravaged the relationships that we had with others as well.
So how do we walk through this season and get to a better position? Here are a few things that I have done that helped me change my trajectory and get into a better position.
Find someone you can help.
Helping others often reminds you of how blessed you truly are. There are a lot of organizations that can use help year-round, but during the holidays helping someone less fortunate often changes how you feel about your situation. I donate gifts, deliver care packages, help out at shelters. Churches, charities, and food banks can use a lot of support this time of year. Here’s a few you may want to consider:
Christmas Angel Tree -Salvation Army
Toys For Tots
Military Families – Trees for Troops
2. Take some time for yourself.
We forget that taking time to care for ourselves is healthy. Reflect on how you are feeling. Put some boundaries in place if you need to keep yourself whole. It’s ok to say no to things that drain you. I tried to keep up the traditions my children were used to in the marriage. Ultimately, I was stressed out and very tired. I decided to do things that gave me time to rest and do things I really wanted. This leads me to the next consideration.
3. Find what makes you laugh.
When we lose relationships, be it a marriage, friends, or loved ones that pass on, our joy is usually stolen and laughter eludes us. Create a playlist that helps you change your mood. I have a few different playlists to change the atmosphere. I encourage you to find fun songs that lift your mood. I like the soundtracks of a lot of children’s movies. They often have the best songs to bring out the kid in you. For those that have children, #4 is something I would do.
4. Make new memories.
It wasn't until I got divorced that I really started to have vacations again. I celebrated Christmas with my kids the week before so we could enjoy each other's company and still give their father the chance to enjoy Christmas with them as well. I gave them the bulk of their presents at Easter because I wanted my children to know Jesus was the reason for the season. Resurrection Sunday was the best way to let them know that when God is included dead things can rise. It was my way of letting them know that new beginnings happen. We now had new beginnings to enjoy and more to come. All of it was because we serve a risen King.
These things really helped their thoughts about the divorce and allowed me to transition my actions. The holidays can be difficult, but you can change the trajectory of your life and get into a better position.