Use Your Strengths to Deal With conflict

I was that little girl that asked questions all the time. I grew up to be the woman that analyzed almost every element of her life. I have always had an intrinsic beacon of justice that constantly desired fair play. It wasn't until after my divorce that I discovered that my principled, analytical, logical, cautious, mind was a strength.

Here's the thing about strengths. You often contain more than one. They are highlighted by the situations that you encounter. But conflict can turn that strength of perseverance into stubbornness; that strength of fairness into an unbending, cold, suspicious nature that can hinder you from reaching your next level.

You need to remember that you are smart. The alphabet soup behind your name shows all of your credentials. Remember, you are hardworking. The salutation before your name proves it. I truly understand. I am an Electrical Engineer by discipline and a Project Manager by trade. My brilliant, analytical, logical mind gives me the natural ability to organize chaos. My ability to be structured is a strength that has served me well. The logical analysis and thoughtful planning that I put in place for the tasks that I perform have been extremely helpful.

For those that have strengths similar to mine, you need to know we are the ones that can solve problems easily because we often remove the emotional elements from the situation and create order out of chaos. We are the tech gurus. We are the keepers of law and order. We are the visionaries that exercise the foresight to create a new beginning. We are often the pioneers of destiny.

For those of you that are like me,

• that person that explains things based on analysis;

• that person that pursues excellence,

• that person that is principled with the application of policies and procedures.

• those of us that want fairness to be displayed when dealing with any situation.

We often rely on logic, facts, and rationale to weigh alternatives to ensure predictability and order. We are often confused when others fail to see the clear path that we usually layout for them. If they would simply follow the plan, the task would get complete, and we can move on to other things that have greater interests.

Because we have carefully considered the cost of a plan or the action, we do not understand why people want to rush the decision-making process. It is also baffling, why anyone would what to move forward without a clear plan that gives them greater insight. Encountering moments like this often confuses us because analytical strengths may not fix certain situations.

Here are 3 things I want you to know about dealing with conflict:

1. Anticipate your conflict triggers. We don't often know what causes our disruption. The better you get at recognizing your conflict triggers, the better you will be at navigating the hurdles that hinder you.

2. Prevent moments of conflict. You do this by thinking in advance of a probable solution so that you can stop the chaos before it even starts.

3. Identify the conflict if it arises. My grandmother would often tell me, “if you can name it, you can deal with it.”

If conflict is not identified quickly, it can take on a life of its own and decimate anyone in its path.

One of the things I share with my clients is how to recognize their conflict sequence and how to effectively communicate so they can get out of conflict quickly. If you want to know your conflict sequence, reach out to me and get a strategy session that will support you. I look forward to speaking with you.