We all have a basic belief that we are walking out every single day whether we are mindful of it or not. Your basic belief shows up in your core values and your behavior. Your character clearly shows what that looks like because it sits on top of your basic beliefs.
My grandmother shared with me that there's a difference between character and reputation. She said, “Your reputation is someone else’s opinion of you. Their opinion may not show who you are at the core of your being. That's where your basic beliefs sit. Your character shows your behavior and your behavior shows your basic beliefs.”
I discovered that if you find that there's a disconnect between your basic beliefs and your character, then it’s time to really assess what you truly believe. You need to look at the core of your being. I have a basic belief that the only reason we exist on this planet is to help one another. Every element of my being is about helping somebody, giving someone support or insights that they can glean that will help them get to their best possible position. I have also discovered that the support some individuals would like to receive may not always align with how my core value sees supporting them.
Divorcees often pour so much of themselves into their spouse that they try to reinvent themselves to make the relationship work. If you're like me that disconnect, between your basic beliefs and the reinvention you are trying to make, caused a disturbance in your soul that left you broke and broken. In my first marriage, I discovered that the support that my ex needed wasn't in alignment with what I was giving and so I kept trying to adjust. If you read my premier book, then you know I got married at 21. I entered that marriage with a vision that my husband and I would come together and build a platform to grow, enhance, and support the world around us. Why? Because my basic belief said that we were supposed to support and help the world around us. I soon discovered that my basic belief clashed with his basic belief.
So, we try to reinvent ourselves to live up to that reputation of marriage.
Our basic belief about marriage is often created through TV, books, and social media. So, we try to reinvent ourselves to live up to that reputation of marriage. My attempt to reinvent myself to live up to that reputation caused me to lose myself. What I learned is that the more insight you have about your basic beliefs, the more in tune you will be with your core strengths. Once I had more clarity of my natural gifts, skills, and talents, I realized that my core strengths aligned with my basic beliefs. The alignment allowed my character to truly reflect what I believed. This then helped others come to a more accurate assessment of my reputation and I was then able to have the marriage I desired.
I am now in a new marriage that is in alignment with my basic beliefs. I am living out what I envisioned, which allows me to be my true self. When you are clear about your basic beliefs, your behavior will reflect your values and will be seen in your character. Then your reputation will give an accurate representation of who you are so you can live a life that supports you and the world around you.